Episode 5

 ARD – Seelenfänger (Soul Catcher – Hunter of Souls) Podcast – Toxic Tantra 24.04.2024 
5. Trapped 
https://www.ardaudiothek.de/episode/seelenfaenger/toxic-tantra-in-der-falle-5/bayern- 2/13338329/
 
producer: Costinești, in Romania, in September 2021. After about a month, Nathalie leaves Viluță.
Along with several other young women, she gets into a silver van.
Nathalie: Those who lead us are some people from school, some Romanians. And for us it was actually a couple, a guy and his girlfriend. Exactly, they were perfectly normal people or something, they were nice.
producer: The mood is good, everyone is very excited. Will they really meet their guru?
And if so, what will happen?
Nathalie: The fact that a few other girls also went with me, so there was a bit of a group dynamic, I think that helped me not to completely panic.
filmmaker: Nathalie and the other women know only this: they will go to Paris or somewhere nearby.
Gregorian Bivolaru is there because, they believe, the authorities are unfairly pursuing him.
They drove the car for two days, without much breaks, and then, around noon, they stopped somewhere near Paris, in the parking lot of an ordinary supermarket. Nathalie gets down, lies down and watches as people push their carts around. But then the next driver comes towards them. Women have to get in the car with him.
Nathalie: We then got into another car with another Romanian, who drove us. And then he gave us sunglasses and hats, handed them out and said, "Yeah, put them all on now!" Christiane: And how did he justify that?
Nathalie: Not at all. That's the thing, the fact that nothing is ever justified, you just give up on this idea that you can ask for explanations. So I didn't question anything anymore.
So we never got to the point where we were like, "But why are we doing this now?" Because you just learned that if you ask questions at the beginning, the answer is always that "Yes, you will learn later. You will learn later. You still don't understand!” And then at some point you just get out of this thing that you can ask questions and then you just accept.
Filmmaker: So Nathalie puts on her sunglasses and fisherman's hat and they hit the road.
About 15 years earlier, another woman experienced almost exactly the same thing. The one by car, with parking somewhere near Paris. We call her Eva. You don't know her yet, but we met her early in our research in Munich. She is the listener of the "Soul Hunter" show in episode 1, who gave us the hint about yoga. At first she hesitated for a while, but then she said: "Okay, I'll let you interview me, but you have to change my voice." That's what I did, with AI.
Eva: I left the Munich Olympic Center for Paris by car. When I arrived in Paris, I was walked from car to car like cargo in a parking lot.
filmmakers: Eva and Nathalie don't know each other. They never spoke to each other, but their stories about Paris are very similar.
Eva: From that moment on, I had to wear a hat and a blindfold so I wouldn't know where I was going.
And most of all, I had to walk away from the man I trusted and get into another car with a stranger.
director: And yet, Eva obeys.
Eva: That was a very bad moment for me. I felt totally exposed and helpless.
filmmaker: Eva and Nathalie still don't know exactly where the driver took them. Of course, they couldn't see anything.
Nathalie: Then we went to this first house, where he always waits for all the girls who go to him.
Eva: I realized something else. It's a huge house, it has a pool and four-poster beds, everything is silk, we're all in really fluffy robes, it's a hippie vibe and everyone has flowers in their hair. I remember arriving in the underground car park. It was a classic Parisian high-rise complex. I took the elevator up to a very high floor, and by the way, I had to hand in my cell phone at the entrance.
filmmaker: So no one forces them to leave their mobile phones in the apartment, but they are advised to do so, because electrical devices are harmful due to vibrations.
Nathalie: So they're all wrapped in aluminum foil so they can't be tracked or whatever. I have no idea.
filmmakers: Nathalie and Eva hand over their wallets and passports.
Eva: I remember this moment in the apartment. In fact, I wanted to go right back. I was thinking something like "No, it's not possible. I have to get out of here right now!” I really think I had something like a panic attack.

This is Soul Catcher. Toxic Tantra - A podcast by Christiane Havranek and myself, Katja Peisen-Petersen.
Episode 5. Trapped:

When Eva enters the apartment, she sees a lot of nudity.
Eva: It was full of women. Lots of women.
filmmaker: They are waiting for a meeting with their guru.
Eva: Well, it was dark everywhere, I remember that. They had covered a lot of the windows so no one could see in, I definitely remember that. Not in all directions, but in the directions that one could see in from other houses. He would only see half-naked women all the time, right?
Nathalie: There are a few girls, I think about five or six, who live there permanently. They organize everything.
Eva: A little older, who didn't even pay attention to us. I guess they didn't always think it was too great to be there with all these young women.
Christiane: All the women are old.
Eva: All women. The men just looked after us and carried us to and fro.
filmmaker: These women are the helpers. They cook, do the announcements and also show them around the apartment.
Eva draws the plan of the apartment for us.
Eva: Let's do this. As you enter, there was the kitchen and the large bedroom.
filmmaker: Eva's descriptions are similar to Nathalie's.
Eva: Then, a little further back, was the small bedroom.
Christiane: Maybe 75 square meters or something like that.
Eva: Yes, that's about it. And how many were there? We had to move the mattresses against the walls once a day to make room and then put them down again.
Nathalie: There are usually about ten people who pass by, who just arrive, see it and then go home.
And then stay there. So here you are sleeping in a room with a few other girls.
Eva: So crowded with so many people and that was the weirdest thing. I could hardly breathe there. And it was so dirty and so disgusting and so crowded and everything else, but it was not at all spiritual and holy and beautiful and uplifting.
Nathalie: And then you just wait.
filmmaker: The waiting room for meeting her guru. But Bivolaru is not there. He lives in a completely different place. Only a handful of people know him. Women are brought to him individually or in small groups, but they do not know how long they have to wait for this moment.
Christiane: What did you do all day?
Nathalie: Yoga. So you do yoga or watch porn for hours. Any porno he chose where the women in the movie are said to have a very good shakti state somehow, just the way he likes it. And that's all we have to do for hours. All these movies we receive as gifts.
Eva: I remember a funny ritual I did. Well, one of them lay bare and we were only allowed to touch it. And then, I don't remember what the purpose of the whole act was, it was probably just to generate a sexual arousal so that you would then be turned on by the guru, I don't know. Let's put stuff on her or touch her with feathers and stuff like that. A bit of sexual teasing. It was like that.
filmmaker: To this day, Eva still wonders how the hell she got into that apartment. Her experiences happened about 15 years ago. Today she has a completely different life. She has a family and children. Until now, she has barely told anyone what happened then in Paris. It's obviously difficult for her.
Eva: I think to myself that I am an educated and intelligent woman. How could this happen to me?
How could I walk into something like this and be fooled by all of this? How stupid. And at the same time, I realize now how much manipulation was behind it, how they manipulate you.
Filmmaker: We will find out later from a psychotherapist how this can happen. But it is precisely this dynamic that Eva wants to warn people about, because others can be drawn in as she was. Especially young women. Likewise for her, it started innocuously, when she took yoga classes at the German Academy of Traditional Yoga, or DAtY for short, in Munich. She was a 20-year-old student.
Eva: And this is a small promise, at least that's what I read from it, that you will practically experience a sacred sexuality, a divine one. A connection with the divine. So, through sexual intercourse, you manage to pass into a divine realm. And I found it extremely fascinating, because I was just an extreme seeker when it came to sexuality.
What I was really looking for was closeness, love and connection. And somehow I had the thought that maybe I could learn to connect and join them in this way. A kind of good, healthy, sacred sexuality.
filmmaker: And that's why Eva doesn't only do classical yoga, but soon she will also take a Tantra yoga course at DAtY.
Eva: Everyone was completely happy, warm and fulfilled. That's what this yoga community is like. It's like a happy hippie family. Everyone loves each other, lots of physical contact, hugs, closeness. Of course we had something very hot.
filmmaker: We meet Eva in the evening, in the center of Munich. We sit on a blanket on the banks of the Isar river, talk and Eva spontaneously shows us some yoga exercises she learned at school.
Eva: There is an exercise that is said to stimulate the sex chakra. Then I felt some things, I really felt that my sexual energy increased. Or I went to another yoga class and I wasn't feeling well. And then I did the Cobra pose, which opens your heart chakra, and I started to cry. And these are experiences that add up. And then of course I started to think that, look, what's happening is true.
maker: Eva is doing more and more yoga, more and more Tantra and learning about interesting rituals.
Eva: There are all these purification rituals, like what you should brush your teeth with and how you should rinse your stomach and so on. And I always thought, "Hey, sure, I'm going to swallow some water and then I'm going to do this weird spinning exercise and then I'm going to get all the water out again so my stomach is cleared." Christiane: Wait, do you have to puke or what?
Eva: Of course, if I do this many times, I see it as vomiting, because it is a purification ritual.
And I thought I'd say to them, "Well, today, it's so unnatural, I find it extremely strange, to be honest." But then there's a small part of me that harbors the wish that maybe it's all true. Maybe there is a grain of truth and now don't be so cynical, let yourself be involved and maybe you will finally discover something that maybe will surprise you.
filmmaker: And so Eva is gradually drawn in. What attracts her most is the prospect of sexual fulfillment.
She even begins an affair with her Tantra teacher. It all starts harmlessly, but the teacher knows Gregorian Bivolaru, Grieg, personally. And at one point - Eva remembers - he tells her that he can arrange a meeting between her and Grieg.
Eva: When someone like this is the leader of a community and everyone adores him and is so revered, they think of a calm and wise Buddha. I thought I would meet a very wise man who I could ask anything and who could answer almost anything, all the questions I had.
Filmmaker: But before that, Eva has to take a picture of herself. She doesn't remember exactly, but she thinks she was naked or just in her underwear so that Grieg, as you already know, could read her aura.
Eva: And I said I won't send something like that to anyone. I think it's stupid, so I had a discussion in the yoga group with a few other girls. "No, we won't do that!" Then the yoga teachers laughed a little, there was really no need, it was something very serious. And at some point, probably a few weeks later, an offer was thrown into the room again. "Oh hell, why not?" What can happen, it doesn't matter. And then I said, "Yeah, well, let's try it, see if anything comes of it." filmmaker: So Eva gives her Tantra teacher a photo of her. It is assumed that he passes it on to Gregorian Bivolaru.
Eva: At one point, he gave me the good news that I had received an invitation. And I still remember the feeling, it was a total shock. And to be honest, I already had a vague idea of ​​what was going to happen.
I thought: "Well, Tantra invitation, meeting with the guru, it's 100% about an initiation." filmmaker: Initiation, that word again. Eva tries to get more information about this encounter from her Tantra teacher.
Eva: Then his yogi and loving expression appears on his face: "You'll see, it's very beautiful. And there are so many young girls, it's so beautiful, you're all there and it's a beautiful community." maker: A referral to her guru via a Tantra teacher from the German Academy of Traditional Yoga. That's how Eva remembers it. What does DAtY say about this? We will ask for details.
But for now, let's go back to the apartment in Paris. Eva is still waiting to be allowed in to see her guru.
Eva: I was definitely scared, but at the same time I had this curiosity. And then there was also an obvious feeling: "You're here anyway. Go try it, now take a look, perhaps great enlightenment indeed awaits you.
Filmmaker: But Eva and later Nathalie will wait for days for this enlightenment. It's the other women's turn first.
Nathalie: That was very difficult for me. Because you arrive and then you tell them when you want to go home, and I had given a certain date which, of course, no one cared about afterwards. And then I was just there and I didn't know, because you have no control. When you can go home, when you can meet him, you just don't know. That's entirely his business. It was difficult because I was thinking, "What if I'm here forever and stuff like that?" Christiane: And how long did you wait until the visit?
Nathalie: Two weeks.
Eva: After two or three days, I said I can't stay that long. And then I think the invitation came the next day.
They must have told him there was someone there who had to leave now. So a note came and it basically had the following name on it.
Christiane: And how did you feel when you received the invitation?
Eva: Oh, God, I think at first it was "Oh, God!" And then there were small discussions: "What's going on there?" And she said something like "Exactly what you want." And I said, "Can I go over there and talk to him?" And she always said: "Yes, everything, everything you want. You will be fine there, everything will be fine. And only what you want will happen."
Nathalie: I was doing yoga again. And then a girl came and said: "Yes, now you are going to his house. You have to pack your things and everything.” Eva: And then, when my invitation came, they said: "Now please go take a shower and shave." And I said: "Why should I take a shower? And how should I shave? I never shave!" Full shave, they were talking about a full shave. And I said: "No, I'm not doing that!" "Yes, simply out of respect for him." Me: "Yes, but why? He won't get to see me again. Why would I do it?" "Just do it. And yes, you're free to decide everything, but that's not really a bad thing." And then, somehow, another girl or two appeared: "Come on, do it! It's not that bad!” And then I really did. It seemed to me like a complete medical check-up. I found it totally scary.
filmmaker: Nathalie and Eva get into the van by two men, they say. Eva is alone, Nathalie is with other women. They are again blindfolded. Again, I don't know where they are taken.
Nathalie: I mean, it was. At first I was already in the car, I was exhausted, so scared, but then I said to myself that "No, I'm excited because he's my guru" and all that.
So now, when I think about it, when I look back, that's what I did. It was something like: "Ok, it's my guru, it's my guru, it's my guru, don't be afraid, don't be afraid!" Eva: "Oh my God, what has to happen, what is happening?"
filmmaker: At some point, the car stops. Judging by the smell and noise, Nathalie thinks they're in an underground parking lot.
Nathalie: And there we were taken out of the car, from the underground car park, and led up a staircase that goes up into the garden. And it was also there that I took the patch off my eye for the first time.
filmmaker: Nathalie is in the courtyard of an apartment complex. It seems that Bivolaru lives here, in an apartment on the ground floor. Eva remembers another place. She describes it for us.
Eva: An apartment, it was a kind of courtyard, it was much less urban, it was a suburb. And then there was his front door, up a flight of steps.
Filmmaker: The two men who brought Nathalie here push each other in front of the front door. It is difficult to open. It is very narrow.
Nathalie: It's like that, you open the door a crack and then you have to sneak inside. And then you stand in that corridor, one behind the other, because there is no room.
Eva: Well, it was completely dark, I remember that.
filmmaker: One of the two Romanians knocks on the door of a room. It lasts for a few moments, then it opens.
And HE appears.
Eva: I remember how he opened the door for me, how he was standing there.
Christiane: And what is he wearing?
Eva: With a bathrobe.
Nathalie: Well, that always wears. His bathrobe. It's purple with all that stuff. Very extravagant.
Eva: So, when I saw him, I said to myself: "God, what an unattractive old man, I have to go there now too, he doesn't inspire me with an iota of wisdom or kindness!" He just greeted me, he had a smile on his face and I was so excited, and then I smiled a little.
Then I remember him opening his arms and saying something like, "Oh, what a beautiful smile, how you smile!" Nathalie: So he's as tall as me. Yeah, he's not that tall. He is also very old. That was another thing: I didn't expect him to look so old. He really is an old man.
Eva: "Ah, what a beautiful smile, you smile!" And I really thought at that moment: "Oh my God, if you were really a wise guru, you would know that I am not smiling with happiness now, rather I am smiling with fear. If you had some kind of plan or if you could read auras or something, you'd know that I just want to die right now because I'm so scared!” Nathalie: "Don't be afraid, don't be afraid, don't be afraid, like that!" That's what I thought when I saw him for the first time.
And also, "Ok, yes, he's my guru. He is my guru, yes!” Yes, it was very, very difficult.
But, again, it's just this pressure that's instilled in you, like this is your guru and it's a mega-event. It changes your life here and now!” And then you interpret everything that happens to you through this filter:
"You know, this fear you feel is emotion. And it's so positive and so great," when actually your whole body is screaming, "What the hell are we doing?" Eva: Then I asked to come in and I got there. The next thing I thought was, "God, I'm here now. I don't know where I am, I don't have any money, I don't have a cell phone, I don't even know when these guys are coming back. How do I know when they will take me back? So, very obvious.
filmmaker: At this point, the women's memories differ slightly. While Eva stands before her guru and he examines her, in Nathalie's case, Bivolaru disappears with her into his bedroom. The men who brought her and the other two women continue down the corridor into another room. This is dark. There is a white blind in front of the window, so no one can see out and no one can see in, Nathalie recalls.
Nathalie: Our room, where the girls are, is completely covered. All around, I've never seen anything like it before. There are sheets of paper written all over the place with all kinds of rules. What we are allowed to do, how we are allowed to do, what we are not allowed to do and so on. It's very strict, so there's a lot going on.
We have to be very quiet about the bathroom, because we have to be very, very clean.
filmmaker: There is a triple bunk bed where women can sleep. They share the bathroom with Bivolaru, who has his room right next to it. I never see him go in there, but I see his hair in the sink.
Nathalie: So, she couldn't bear to see a single hair. If it was his hair, of course it wasn't a problem.
Our hair was not allowed. We weren't even allowed to wash our hair because, of course, I think the problem was that if something got clogged, you couldn't call a plumber.
film maker: One of the men who brought Nathalie here sits down at a folding table by the front door.
Several metal bars are attached, Nathalie recalls.
Nathalie: We definitely can't go out. And then your clothes will be taken away. They also have bathrobes and other things hanging there, but we don't have our clothes. And that's why I can't go out because I have nothing to wear. And even if we had said, "hey, I want to go", he wouldn't have said "ok, sure, we'll take you home now". It would have been a huge argument like "you have some demons, what's wrong with you and this is not possible!". So there is no problem at all.
filmmaker: For Nathalie there seems to be only one solution. She stays with the other women in her assigned room for hours, days. The food is delivered to them in plastic boxes, prepared by the women in the other apartment.
Nathalie: All four eat Romanian food, because that's what he likes. Vegetarian, of course.
The thing was, if something expired, we still had to eat. They were eating this expired food, even though I always said "I'm not going to do it". Because, you can not do it. The ones who ate this expired food were like, "wow, I'm just in such an amazing spiritual state and everything is so great because it's so charged with his energy" and so on.
And then you do it too and you delude yourself that what you are doing is good, so that you don't go crazy.
filmmaker: Because it is dark in her room, Nathalie loses track of time at one point.
Nathalie: There is no sunlight, right? It doesn't exist at all. You can't go outside, there's no sunlight, you stay in your room, you're quiet, and then you stay there. You do yoga, read something, sleep.
filmmaker: Nathalie wastes time for seven days. Then the door opens. Gregorian Bivolaru himself is standing there watching Nathalie.
Nathalie: He came in at one point and said, "Yes, you can get ready now." filmmaker: Nathalie takes a shower, shaves and brushes her teeth. She follows the instructions on the many pieces of paper on the walls in her room. She is excited and waiting for her guru to call her.
Nathalie: But then he didn't come back for two days.
Christiane: What?
Nathalie: I thought it might be another hour before he comes back. Almost two days passed, in which he simply did not return. And then he came at a certain point, as if to say "yes, okay, let's start".
director: Nine days. That's how long Gregorian Bivolaru kept Nathalie waiting for Nathalie in this apartment.
That's how she remembers it. With Eva it was faster. She is led to him by herself and her turn comes immediately.
Eva: It was also amazing that I was given water to drink on the way. They gave me water and I drank a lot on the way.
Later, I perceived a strange light, as if I were a little drugged. That's how I felt when I was there. Then, I remember, I actually asked him if there was anything in this water that I drank from. And he laughed loudly, "what water did they give you to drink during the journey? No, no, everything is fine."
filmmaker: We don't know any more than Eva does if there really was something in the water or if it was just her agitation.
Nathalie: First he gave me a weird aphrodisiac thing, a drink that is definitely alcoholic, so there's no doubt that it has alcohol in it. Exactly, with some herbs and cinnamon, which is said to be an aphrodisiac. Yes, then I drank it and he took me back to his room.
Eva: Then we sat on the bed, I remember that. And then, I don't even know what the conversation was.
Then I told him, yes, I did in fact have questions, and then I told him about someone who was mentally unwell. And I had questions about it, so I thought he might have some wise answers. I even realized my mouth was dry, I was flustered, and I tried to keep talking and keep the conversation going, just to avoid what might have come next.
Nathalie: The way he interacts with us is like we're his girlfriends, like that. So he's not super aloof, but he's great, he makes jokes and stuff, he's very funny and laid back.
Eva: Then he said something if I... what did he say? Something like "if I wanted to experience spiritual expansion". And I immediately knew what that meant, and then I immediately said, very clearly, does this have to happen in order to progress spiritually? He knew what I meant by that.
He also showed me a passage like this from him to me, indicating that I actually already knew what I had to do here. And then he said something like, "Do you want to experience this?" Want to get involved? First, relax and surrender to it. Let's meditate together for now!"